February 2010
59 posts
“This is the last time I’ll try to reach you, and my guess is you’ll...”
– You should know.
“I ate a chilli that was so hot that I shit myself at a party and punished my...”
– well that’s not exactly what he said but that’s the summery of it.
WatchHit Or Miss EP Release show. Filmed and Edited by My Ass.
“NOOOOO WAAAAY”
Technology
Printer: Hello Matt, what can I do for you today?
Matt: Well I'm going to smash some CV's around so I'd like it if you'd print them off for me please.
Printer: Certainly, how many of them would you like to have steaks across?
Matt: Well, none of them.
Printer: I'm not sure if I can do that... and would you like to be able to read ALL the words?
Matt: Of course.
Printer: Fussy aren't you?
Matt: Can you just get on with it please, no ones paying me to sit on the internet. Yet.
Printer: I'll try. How many do you want?
Matt: Erm... 10.
Printer: What's that? 100? OK!
10 Reasons Why The No.12 Are Not As Good As They...
1: Well first of all, they don’t actually exist anymore which makes them kinda hard to be good
2: They put their best tracks for their live album all in 1 track. So you have to skip through listening to all the crap they come out with before you can find what you want, and that means they obviously don’t even care about those tracks!
3: Their album artwork gets shitter every time. It...
“When we look at modern man, we have to face the fact that modern man suffers...”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
Also the intro to Operation Phoenix by Good Riddance. Heard this when I was like 15 and was probably the first time I ever really considered a “quote.”
Noam Chomsky →
Check this guy out. Seriously.
Watch Manufacturing Consent. Over and over.
You’ll recognise this guys voice instantly, he’s about as quoted politically as Martin Luther King, Jr.
Also check out Z Magazine.
VAMPIRESS!!! CLICK ON THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!!! →
I spat all over my screen when this song ‘kicked in’! She’s available as a lead singer so if anyone knows any bands looking for a singer then they wanna garb this freakjob before she gets MASSIVE. Massive asin a big star, not massive asin fat cus shes got that one dialed. It just gets worse and worse. I don’t wanna give away too much cus the suprise completely took my...
Zodiac - The Cipher Killer →
This film sucked yeah, but I’ve been reading about this guy and actually can’t put the book down but I have to keep telling myself it’s real! Literally the most messed thing I’ve ever heard, my brain can’t do imagination well enough to convince myself this is all real.
Some things that are ballistic about this true story:
1. He made up his own coding system to send...
Yogi Bear
Washa: Yo matt, do you mind if I play Xbox on the TV so you have so sit there doing fuck jack?
Matt: No problem!.... Just need to write something on your facebook anyway...
Facebook:
- every time im in the kitchen... YOUR in the kitchen! Eating up ALL THE FOOD
- have u been pounding fam?
- u missed out on my delicious fruit bowl
- i can hear the sound of ur pounding fam beat from here
- shall i just go home?
- playing a game is it? yeh fuckin looks like it n all
- go michael jordan ur mother. steal ur own team mates.
- cheers youself
- how many fattenings can 1 man fit in a weekend?
- u will love me when im fat
- go wash ur beard with my cock
- the 1980s dont know shit
- how many pies does it take to create a fattened person?
- ive got a boner with your mothers name on it. it says - fattener.
- im certain that you can suck fake chicken
- not even your own xbox likes u now.
- ask your mother for the back to the future dvd back from her secret dvd player under the stairs, also known as her wanktorium and then do a gesture that says "come here, suck this"
- you will never know. yet.
- most the time im laughing at u
- you might aswell pleasure urself with a fist
- in space, no one eats icecream
- you finally learned to beg...
- brown revine
- oh thanks for climbing all over my train yeh? i'm just in the middle of doing time travel.
- send me to my room without a fattening is it?
- shall we do coke through our 9s, visit the 50s and dress like sailors?
- "maaaauuuhhhhh" "matt, don't"
- basically if you're a rank woman with shaved bits of head (which you are) then your going to recieve slate.
- not had enough dinner yet?
- look out mate i think u missed 1 crum there
- comfy over there sister?
- why must i cry?
- when them to are over there doing acting, do that gesture i taught you.
- i did not spit. roast.
- how many comments r u going to put on my godamn profile? stop getting butter on my keyboard.
- good job at making the tea you maiden. next time use tea bag, not your own pissy balls.
- 10.00 - wake up. 11.00 - get bus. 12.00 - remain seated. 13.00 - watch dillinger
- be quiet
- bet you thought you had actual friends? never. only me forever.
- nice speaking. breath ass.
- you know uve done too many fattening when your own skeleton can't hold your weight.
- i managed to clean up your pilkington book then but a turd got loose and wiped its face over the pages and spelt out the words "fuck the washcloth"
- no. it's not. buy your own. no.
- fantasteesh.
- you have yet to see the full extent of my dick
- no meters! fixed prices! free cock! ....balls!
- your mother is the only game i know on the xbox i know with 2 dicks, but not as bad as back when you used to have change her 8 dicks every 5 minutes.
- this is not sad. this is doing laughter.
- squeek yourself dry on someone elses sofa.
- only vaginas are born in september.
- ok you can have 1 more comment then i've really got to get on...
- inspect yourself in the mirror, i think you'll find there a mint stuck to your posterior that i spat on the floor.
Productive Saturday
Back To The Future: Hill Valley
My geeking has well pulled off… As well as totally proving that I must actually be a bit of a nerd. I’ve always wanted to play a Back To The Future game, even though it would be guaranteed ass, the films were such a massive part of my childhood I want to do anything to keep them alive.
Obviously some else thought the same, so they’ve made a mod for GTA: Vice City where you can...
